I will be fine.
I will be fine.
I will be fine.
I recite this like a mantra all day. My thick skin has dents from the hits it’s taken. My tearducts have caved in themselves. My back has involuntarily slumped from my weariness. My breathing is jagged with each inhalation. I’ve paced a million circles in my mind from the thinking. I’ve drawn lines from one circle to the next, trying to connect the dots, trying to cheat the system, to find an answer.
I’ve had some setback today with regards to my writing. I’ve reviewed my plan of action again and again and haven’t found my weak spot yet. But I have an assurance, a naive sense of hope. I’ve thrown my hands up, whipped my head back and said I’ve had enough. But I know I’ll be back. I’ll be back swinging. I don’t have a plan, a road map or a clear head. But I know I will persevere.
In the words of the great kendrick Lamar, “We gon be alright.”
I went to see a play last night in which my friend Lola was in the staring role. While about to take my seat, I was approached by a gentleman who said hello. After a few minutes of awkward silence it occurred to me that he knew me from somewhere. I narrowed my eyes and thought for a bit before he laughed and reminded me of where we had met before…..He is the son of one of my neighbours who go back from school and I’d seen him barely a month ago. Embarrassed, I apologised but luckily he wasn’t offended.
This brings me to my thought for the day- I am terrible at remembering names and Faces. I usually remember the face but not the name or how I know the person and like I shared above, it often gets very embarrassing. Any advice for that?
Also, great news: I joined the team at skyn magazine as their in-house poet. 😀😀😀
I was reading through a devotional this morning and read something about FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out. Particularly about how it affects young people and I have to agree, it does. Especially in the world today where everything can make you think you’re missing out and your life I boring.
I was going through my instagram crush’s feed (don’t judge ) and to be honest, he seems to have literally the most fun-filled, adventurous and wonderful life ever and I’m here thinkin, “Why is my life so boring?” And I suppose it’s easy to think this way. The curated and controlled world of social media and my generations obsession with # goals makes even the most content person feel the FOMO especially as you get older and it looks like your “time’ has passed.
As much as FOMO shoukd maybe inspire us to make the bes of our time, we should avoid going overboard.
This weekend I’m at my grandma’s place visiting and it’s awesome. One of my favorite things to do whenever I visit her is going through old pictures and listening to her stories about life in times past. Particularly the 60s and 70s.
Also, having conversations with her makes me think of the concept of getting older. Mostly it reinforces wanting to have an awesome life with wonderful stories to remember when I’m way older. And believe it or not, I’m also inspired to take more pictures so I’ll have more to look over in the future- documentation of an amazing life. Also, for the nostalgic humour of looking back at older fashion trends. And as you can see above, my grandma’s been slaying them all since the 60s.
It’s a few weeks till I have to get back to school 😣😣 and I’ve been thinking a lot about summer itself. Technically speaking, my summer isn’t even over but I want so badly for another to start. I’m not sure what it is about it, the lack of responsibility, the freedom to simply explore hobbies or just the atmosphere itself. Then there’s travelling, which is one of my favourite things ever for me. I’ve always had a horrible case of wanderlust. Hell, the smell of freshly brewed coffee makes me want to hop on a plane (coffee was the first thing I smelled when I got on my first flight). Just being in a new place, hotels, Google mapping my way through a city and a sense of adventure are just priceless for me.
This morning I was noding my head along to ‘Airplanes’ by Five Seconds Of Summer (irony overload, right) and there’s a line that talks about a city, which brings me to my other thought for the day: I’m such a city kid. On an online forum, this girl wrote about wanting to move to quiet, simple town I’m her 20s. Great for her but for me that would be torture. Maybe it’s because I was raised in one of the craziest cities ever (shoutout Lagos!) But I can’t imagine ever not living in a big city. The people , the noise, the life, the energy. It just fuels me in a way. At some point in my life (translation: when I’m super old ) maybe I’d move somewhere quiet but for for now, I bask in my city life. 😎
Earlier today I was at a bus stop and while waiting for my bus to fill up, I saw an interesting old gentleman at the bus stop. He was sitting (and I’m gonna assume drunk considering he was holding a bottle of local gin).
He spoke with some people who seemed to know him to some extent and in the process of talking, a public street cleaner went by with her broom cleaning up the pavement. Apparently some of the dirt she swept up got on his shoes. He protested loudly and she muttered an apology. He then proceeded to curse at her and eventually she finished her work and left. The real drama started a while later when he began shouting “God punish women forever! ” and then proceeded to sneer at every woman/girl who passed him with the oddest look on his face.
I went from feeling bad for him, to feeling offended at his comment to holding in laughter at the faces he made. Eventually he himself began laughing and all was right with the world.
The things you see at the bus stop, right ?
If you’re get as moody as I often do, you’re probably familiar with what I like to call the drift. It’s that really trippy feeling of just wanting the days to go by quick enough. For me, it’s this week. I have some fun stuff to do this weekend and next week and I’m literally counting the days till Saturday. 3 more to go!
Who else feels this way?