I realised something today : Sometimes you have no idea how much certain events and things change you until much later. Confronting one of my biggest fears today, I found myself thinking back to where the fear itself came from. I realised that it was from a painful event that happened many years ago. I don’t even think of the said event anymore but I now realise how much failing at something at a young age made me subconsciously shy away from ever trying again, made me automatically pessimistic about ever succeeding at it, made me second guess everyone and myself and silently distrustful of people in general. 

This also brings me to a theory I’ve always had that flawed people are made and not born. I don’t think anyone is born cold, withdrawn, distrustful, misanthropic or cruel. I like to think that life, by way of events and  experiences, teaches us to be shadows of ourselves, takes out hands and guides us to the wicked corners of our own humanity that we didn’t know existed. It leads us innocently by the hand, leaves us there and emerges us broken, scarred and changed. 

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